I renamed all the Dark Souls 3 bosses
I get mad and need silly things to yell at them all right?
This can also stand as a list of the bosses I actually finished I suppose.
- Iudex Gundyr :: Judy
- Vordt of the Boreal Valley :: Voigt Kampff
- Curse-Rotted Greatwood :: I forgot to rename this one
- Crystal Sage :: Sally, and / or Sally-Annie
- Abyss Watchers :: Jamie Madrox
- Deacons of the Deep :: Fathers Ted
- High Lord Wolnir :: Woolite
- Old Demon King :: Old Fuck
- Pontif Sulyvahn :: Pontifus
- Yhorm the Giant :: Giant
- Aldrich, Devourer of Gods :: That Chump1
- Oceiros, the Consumed King :: Revolver Ocelot2
- Champion Gundyr :: Gund-Li3
- Ancient Wyvern :: is this a boss? It's kind of a gimmick right?
- Dragonslayer Armor :: Armor, I forgot again
- Lorian and Lothric :: the guy giving piggybacks out near the library
- Soul of Cinder :: A Letdown4
You'll notice the Nameless King and the DLC bosses aren't here. I tried Nameless King and Friede a bunch, and eventually got sick of the entire game honestly. I rushed the end just because I wanted to be done. Maybe I'll try Ringed City at some point in the future, I still have my save. But Ariendel was genuinely just shitty, I hated every part of it. Not because it was hard, but because it was just uninteresting. Like, compared to the rest of the game, which struggles to keep my interest sometimes anyway.
He was surprisingly easy, though I did the thing where I died after I killed him↩
an even bigger chump. I sight read this asshole to death. There was a moment where he stopped doing weird magic and put his staff down. I shouted, "you're just a crystal dog now! I know how to kill those!" And indeed, reader, I knew how to kill those.↩
Those goddamned kicks!↩
sight-read him too. This is the last boss? Fffff↩